Do what has to be done-Leadership

When you think about a leader, you commonly think of a person that's the boss over everyone else, telling them what to do. With that definition in mind, we sometimes think we can't ever be leaders.

I recently learnt a better way of defining a leader.

A leader is someone creates a change in something for the better.

You want to know why that definition is better than what most of us think? Everyone has the abilitiy to make a change fir the better. For example, if you happen to have witnessed bullying and you did something about it, even as small as just telling a teacher or someone higher up, you  were a leader.  You don't have to be really brazen and ready to tackle down people, just do what you think is best in a way that doesn't put you in harms way.


What if you saw something was wrong and wanted to fix it? What if you thought you could start some sort of club addressing issues, wouldn't that also count as taking on leadership roles? Of course it does!

So if you want a change to occur, you can step up and take that role. Don't be one of those people who'll assume someone else will do it. Be people of Action. The last thing we need are couch potatoes.


But wait, don't just be people of action, but people with Witt as well. Don't just rush into situations simply because you think something has to be done. Consider the situation as well.

In the end, people may appreciate your efforts or not, as long as you know you did the right thing, that's all that counts.

No pain no gain

So you got that first shot into the net on your first try ever. So called beginners luck. Cool. Great. I envy you. Maybe you had an advantage over me, maybe its genetics, maybe...


Enough of this! Here's what's wrong, I'm analyzing the situation wrong. Instead of thinking about why the other person got their shot, I should be thinking about why my shot didn't go in.

That 'missing the shot' example, can be anything. It can be an interview, a contest, a grade, whatever. Chances are, your not going to make it the first time round. If it's your first time studying don't expect super high marks. Not to discourage you from studying, but it takes the experience of having gone through a test after you studied for it,to actually learn how to prepare for the next test. When that next test comes around,  you won't waste time finding a study method that works for you. You'll know what to do and be more accustomed. See where I'm going with this?  Not everyone gets things on their first try.Maybe you'll be one of those lucky people who can. But if your not, don't worry, you got an advantage over them. You know what you get?

It's experience.


So I had an interview for a position at the Library and right after it, my brain racked through everything I had done wrong. Experience is the harshest teacher, as I've heard before.  They sent me a letter telling me the reason why I didn't get the job was because my reference wouldn't pick up.  I'm grateful that that's what they put, but for that whole month of waiting, I learnt what I did wrong. I'm sad but I've learnt my bit and now that it's ingrained into me, I'm now more prepared for an interview than before than.

How you use your experience is entirely up to you. If you want, you can brood on it for the  rest of your life and use it as an excuse why you won't try again, or you can take advantage of it.

The options are there, but I understand it's not easy to make, because it's based on your state of mind. Are you willing to believe you've gained something other than just pain?

Let me rephrase that question,
Are you willing to try to see your life experiences other than just pain?

Stop pulling the Race card

The definition of racism according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary is:
1)A belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce inherent superiority of a particular race.
2) Racial prejudice or discrimination.

Notice how the dictionary doesn't state that  racism is the discrimination that 'black' people get from 'white' people. Did you know it could be also vice versa?

 I normally don't like to refer to people as 'black' or 'white' , but seeing as to how many people don't understand the whole racism issue I think I'll have to step out a little from my comfort zone.

 I've never been discriminated against, nor have I seen anyone else either. My personal definition on discrimination is being told I can't do something because of my skin.In my little world, I thought racism no longer existed but that was just my ignorance and someone had to pop my bubble to get out of that state of mind.  I have seen, other forms of discrimination but for some reason I thought racism was over. Maybe that was because racism to me was just that slavery period. When slavery was abolished and when people came together as one, I assumed it was just a thing of the past. Even more shocking was that I was also recently told that slavery hasn't ended either. Ignorance, I tell you!

 The only thing I've come across with is the very same people who use the race card, are the ones who tend to be a bit racist. For example, they may say 'green people can't do that'  or ' She can't dance because she's pink'

 'Black' people in particular using the race card way to much where I am from. Just the other day I was reading a blog that was just someones weird experience and it had nothing to do with race, but she managed to tie that all in and accuse the writer of being racist.

I don't get it, why are you getting so riled up over nothing. what I think the issue is, is the fact that some people haven't accepted who they are yet. Due to that insecurity, they go ballistic on you at anything they think you may say pertaining to their race.

If someone does something upsetting to them, they ready to use the race card. I don't get why you want to be the victim in everything.  Just love who you are and accept yourself.  I remember being embarrassed for my background and I hated it,  until I learnt to appreciate it and accept  it.

Also, stop being the very first to make general comments on the traits of all people based on their skin. You got to learn to see beyond that. There is more to people than they're skin. Then again, I did say earlier that 'black' people were the one's that are using the race card too much. Did you notice that was a generalized comment? Where do we draw the fine line of using our observations for coming up with conclusions versus making wide assumptions. I would suggest avoid using the word 'all' don't say all 'green' people are rude. Just because you've seen a lot of rude ones, doesn't make all of them that way.

Some people may think the world would be better if everyone was the same, but that would undermine our abilities as humans to appreciate diversity. If we can accept others and ourselves and remember that at the end of the day, we're all humans and we're going to die, that would be a greater feat than having to colour everything the same shade.

From the Quran we learn:

 "mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted."

Notice how I left out my race? Tough it's no big secret, I just tried to keep it out of the way so you could understand the message without considering who I am.

I hope I haven't offended anybody, It's difficult getting my point across sometimes. Let me know any of your thoughts and concerns regarding this issue. If I've messed up some where please let me know, I'm only human/.

A Judgmentally raised society.

Ideally people aren't supposed to be judging other people, but let's be real, everyone judges everyone. If you take a walk out in a busy street and look around, you probably would have already spotted someone and judged them. Maybe you saw a beggar and assumed that they were on drugs.

 We have first impressions, we have formed thoughts on a person and sometimes we don't give them a chance.
Nobody cares about how hard you try, they just want to see results.

I saw this quote posted somewhere and snorted at it. All I could remember was being judged by the height I reached. For example, nobody cares how much you studied and how much you gave it your all, but what matters is the marks you achieve in the end.

Is it easy to not " judge a book by its cover"? It's certainly can't be fair but we make things harder for each other as humans. For example, interviews. I know, I know, it's a selection process but still, everything has to be right for you or else it doesn't matter if your the best person for the job. It starts with your clothes and then your speech... Maybe it's because I feel a bit pressured that I break down and forget my English. Alone, I can handle pressure, being watched makes it harder.

Just recently, I managed to embarrass myself so much. Instead of using the word 'activity' I used 'problems'  and you can only imagine what kind of sentence it was. I found it quite hilarious and had to hold back some giggles during the interview. It got worse, not only did I 'forget' how to speak in English, I lost my writing ability too (quite ironic for a girl who aspires to be published one day).

It's hard showing your best self knowing you only got a few minutes, plus my phone had to go off during that time. I don't understand how people know when to call me when I'm busy. I hardly ever get calls yet they get me all the time during exams,another program interview plus this interview. I don't silence it because I forget to turn it back on and may miss something really important. I don't like my phone as a phone, I just like it for the internet. Well, in the end I learnt to be extra cautious and silence the dang thing.

Now reeling back to the subject at hand, I'm kind of hurt at how society has been built up to make things harder for people rather than simple. That's why I couldn't get a march break job, they wanted to do a police check first but didn't have time(I know, I know! It's for safety reasons). I myself know I'm clean but what can you do? Better safe than sorry. What if one day there were more truthful honest people and good people in general. Then would society have been built up better? These things I wonder.

Stomping on petals

Assalam Alaikum Zizi Ail (Z.A)

Why is it that most of the time when I get good news and I'm actually happy that something good has happened, someone comes along to take away that from me. To make it worse, it doesn't  stop there, they give me more to worry about and mull over. 
As if I didn't have a lot of things tugging on my tired brain for attention. I'm really tired, becoming short tempered, sick and for once I think I understand why people actually choose suicide ( I won't do it of course. I would never.) 
Leaving myself in this state of mind, leaves me with dumb depressing thoughts which on my up-beat healthier days I can just shrug off. 
For example,normally I'm like "Friends? Who needs those I'm good as it is." and it honestly doesn't bother me that I don't hang out with people, but on my down days, it just adds to the problem list and though I normally don't care, today things like that seem really heavy.

Things like school is annoying to think about when it really counts. I can't express how hard I try but my marks may not always show for it. I really think it would be an A++ though. But who cares, nobody wants to know you tried, people just want to know what you got and size you up with their judgments. 

EVERYTHING IS TIRING!
But, there are those times where I'm happy. Times where I actually get a job or accepted into university. So people, please leave your thoughts out of my way if it's going to make things worse. Tell them to me at a time I can handle them otherwise, you're not helping me but giving me more thoughts to think about and less time to actually do the work.

To make things worse, I'm mad at myself for being a horrible organizer. I think if I had that ability then things would have gotten a lot smoother for me than they are now. I'm trying.

I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying.


But that doesn't seem to be enough in this world sometimes. Sometimes a voice asks in my mind, "Then what have you succeeded in doing so far?" and I'm at a loss for words. I think there were only a few times maybe. Maybe more, but now I can't think clearly .

I won't give up though.

 As you can probably tell, I'm tired as I write this and I really need my sleep, but before I go I have a question. Have you ever heard of that time where Aisha (ra) was being accused of an act she didn't do and there was this one woman that came to her and just sat there and cried with her? My question is, are there really people like that? 
I doubt it, people are really shallow...well, at least the one's I know and this isn't the majority I think,but in my state of mind, I forget the good except a little. 


Hopefully, I'll see you next time Z.A but in a better state of mind.

Knowing your Neighbors.

Assalam Alaikum

The other day I was mulling over the fact that I had to be a better neighbor. It started like a week ago. Like the usual, I heard something about treatment of neighbors as taught in Islam through a radio station.  It wasn't like I was learning new things and it wasn't like I never thought of it before. For sure I never really thought of it deeply like I am now. It came to my attention that I was disconnected with them.

I knew I had to do something but I didn't know how. How is it possible for a person to suddenly change their norm?
So that was really stressing me out in my head. Not  mentioning the biggest trigger to this stress.
Apparently we have a neighbor who is trying to avoid us and when I made a plan to try and gap the awkwardness, I told it to someone. Like usual, the great idea I thought I had was crushed and I was left feeling worse. Picture this, you're a person who's aware of how the prophet pbuh treated his neighbor and so you want to implement that into your life. Are you with me there? You think of ways to get your neighbor and yourself on good terms and you don't consider hard core failure. You don't anticipate too much bad, maybe a door to the face. You're heart is all in for this and your brain is gearing for this and you smile away as you think of when you'd like to go through with you idea. Maybe you wanted to bake some cookies or just have a chat or bring some gifts, whatever it is, you think you're doing what's right. Now you go share your idea and immediately it's being torn apart to the point where your told to not even bother. You're told things that are more worse than what you imagined and so everything is all ruined.

Everything seemed harder, 'This test is hard!' I kept thinking. I kept questioning how it was possible for me to go about this .


Then one day, I got a letter saying BINGO NIGHT in my building and that there would be prizes.  I was all riled up for the game, it sounded fun not to mention there would be other neighbors.

On the actual night, not only had I wanted to attend, but four of my siblings one of which had no idea what bingo was, were all game.

There I was going in for the fun  and I actually won  a round along with my little brother who had just learnt the game. I went home finally knowing a bit of my neighbors who were literally 1-2 doors away! It was only after that game was over I noticed that this building event was a brilliant way to know people. They turned out to be a lively bunch.

Then I go and here stuff about them which ruins their image.

PEOPLE STOP RUINING OTHERS REPUTATIONS! You make my life harder.


Other things that happened around this period of time:

Technically I got 90's in all my subjects. Though one of the more crucial subjects, I got a 75 but there was a culminating before it where I got 95/100! I mention this because I made dua for that.

Analogies of life

Assalam Alaikum!

Have you ever had those times where you're alone and you're just going on in life like normal when suddenly, you see something and it turns into an analogy? Let me further elaborate.

There were times when I was younger, walking home with my family from school. I walked much faster than them so I was often in the lead. Sometimes, there were trees in the way and I would go around it from one side and they would on the other. Bang! An anology formed just like that. For me, I pictured this being the separation between me and my family but we'd be reunited every time we came back after the short separation.
Funny things is they actually happened, more or less the way I thought of them. there were physical separations and mental separations. One where I physically left them or when I felt like I wasn't apart of them.

I'm not claiming anything people! Anyone can make weird connections.

Recently, I had to find a certain place and all I had were my distant memories of the place and a map I got from online. I followed the instructions but then there was a dead end, or so I thought. I was on the street I needed to be on to get to last and final one, but there were no signs.  That street was very small and at the end there was a building.  Picture, a T shaped road. At the top there was a horizontal road and a building lining it. I was at the bottom of the vertical part of the road which connected with the horizontal one. Because there were no signs, no numbers and I felt as though I came to a dead end. I turned left instead of heading straight and found another road I never saw before.  That's when I pulled out my phone for it's GPS, which was really horrible, and it didn't help me. I started walking around searching for the number of the building I was looking for and the street.

From then on I spotted a street I recognized and went towards it, which happened to be the wrong way. In this whole journey, I ended up having to turn around and go back twice.

Finally I found the street, then the building and went in. When I came back out,  I was looking onto a short street in front of me. It was familiar. it was the street I doubted initially because I thought it was a dead end and the building I had seen then was the one I was looking for all along. This time I was on the top of the T shaped road. where the horizontal road was.

Here's where my analogy came in, I pictured the map being the guidance of Allah. I followed it up to where I had to be but when I lost sight of the sign, I doubted my instructions even though they had guided me so far.I couldn't see the sign but, that was the street I was looking for.  I made things harder for myself by taking the longer way and wasting more energy and effort.